hello Internet,

do you know about the the so-much-to-do-but-i-can-still-distract-myself paradox? i think some people call it procrastination.

i think i have a reputation of being super random, having random ideas all the time… yeah i’m that person with a bunch of unfinished projects. have i given up on them? not all, some are still at the back of my head occasionally, some are buried somewhere in digital or physical note form.

i can jump from topic to topic really quickly, and i’ve been told multiple times that people don’t see the connection of the seemingly unrelated topics that i raised —— which is usually followed by my very elaborate explanation on a probably very minor mental link.

generally, people call me an extrovert. i do usually have high energy around people, sometimes too high. lol. so this may fit the “H” in “ADHD”.

however, i don’t have that hyperfocus thing that people talk about. i wish i did, cos maybe i’ll have achieved more in life. my attention span is

well, ADHD is now a normal daily term, isn’t it? just like “anxiety,” “OCD,” “depression.” still not sure if it’s a good thing to normalise this because sometimes it is not taken seriously enough. anyway, to everyone who has joked or thought about me having ADHD: i don’t think i do. but sometimes i do feel “kinda hyper.” ADD? maybe, but since far fewer people know about that condition, it’s not really talked about.

recently though, it’s like whatever mood swimg i typically have has gotten much worse. it does feel a bit like DID which stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as split personality disorder but i’m not sure why it’s called DID. cos if you ask me, “split personality disorder” offers more clarity. but maybe the psychiatrists/psychologists need to think up more obscure names to confuse the general public so they don’t go out of business.

though it’s not as extreme as the portrayals in media; like i don’t have names (yet) for my split mood/personality change, the differences are vast enough for me to be aware of it and go: “what the hell was that? what the hell am i doing now? i wasn’t doing/feeling this.”

hopefully it’s temporary or else it might mean the dawn of losing my sanity.

thank you and have a nice day,

normal human