First and foremost

kwyLeave a comment

Hi, this post opens the blog officially, so this is a virtual opening ceremony!

Damn do I not like myself; it took me more than a month to finally write the first bloody post on this site…procrastination rocks!

The initial idea of this blog is actually for it to be more philosophical but screw it, I’ll just write whatever I desire. As I also plan to delete my Facebook account in the (hopefully near) future, this would be a platform for me to bitch about things and share what I’m currently up to in my life.

Look at that bloody high ego. Who the deuce even cares about my life and what I have to say about things? Yeah I know, that’s why I don’t really like myself. It’s a pretty weird statement to make and I guess I should elaborate on it. Basically, I have been reading about stoicism a lot, because I am SO done with conventional faiths (sorry to a lot of you people).

I read a quote that went something like: “I know myself too well to like myself.” WOW, right. Yeah I don’t really like myself anymore, I wish that I was a better person than what I convey. I recently learnt about the Japanese concept of tatemae and honne. In a nutshell, tatemae means how people see you on the surface; whereas honne is what truly is in you. I suspect that a lot of Japanese don’t like their honnes too.

Even so, I am a normal human being who craves to be liked, so nope, I would not expose the dark sides of me so soon.  *evil grin*

So, welcome to my blog, where I write things in mostly English that might make you laugh/angry/cry/whatever.

Also, please like me for as long as you could!

You might not agree with my mode of thinking but that’s what this blog is for anyway, inspiring intellectual arguments so we can all advance metaphysically.

Please feel free to comment anything as I do appreciate constructive feedbacks! My grammars and language use are not perfect so yeah thank you in advance for pointing my errors out. 🙂

Yours truly,

Wei Yen

Puchong, MALAYSIA

unhinged

kwyLeave a comment

every time i see this word, i think of a door that isn’t attached to a frame. that’s the image that i usually associate it with.

but now that im feeling unhinged; instead of doing something productive like catching up on sleep; im contemplating this term.

i can’t tell if im feeling lightheaded because of a minor sleep deprivation, because im stopping antidepressants and therefore feeling nauseous, or because my mind is really unhinging itself from the rest of me.

to be honest, i don’t know why unhinged should commonly be used interchangeably with crazy. it looks too hinged to be unhinged.

so i propose an alternative: untethered. visually im seeing a kind of cord cut loose…cut free. although this word seems to be more widely used in other contexts, i think they should instead use unhinged in those situations.

“hey are you still stuck with that job?” “yes i am very hinged to it”
“are you together with that person?” “no we are unhinged from one another.”

im such a sucker for semantics.

i guess people normally describe someone as crazy when the subject seems to have no limits in the way that they act/think — their life philosophy is untethered to social conventions.

what im trying to say is, being crazy may actually be a way of being free.

three days left in this year. today is Tuesday.

kwyLeave a comment

wow i honestly have forgotten about this blog…did i even tell you that i was injured again? i feel like i have but im not sure; typing on the mobile app now so i can’t navigate that well

romantic friendships. interesting notion. “as we continue to generate alternatives to the traditional relationship model…” worth thinking about

quite lazy to have an end-of-the-year recap of what ive achieved, especially the only thing that’s fresh in my mind is that i spent the last quarter of the year being slightly handicapped and needing walking aids. here’s to an injury-free 2022 and forever. 🍻

oh, i have a blog

kwyLeave a comment

i honestly forgot the existence of this virtual property of mine (no i’m actually not sure which parts of this really belong to me but i do pay for something so i guess something does really belong to me).

the last post was my diary on my second last day in quarantine in Malaysia and i have been back in Germany for about four months now…an exam season is over and a new academic semester has started. i haven’t been doing a lot of productive things since the last update other than studying for exams, working on a compulsory group project, and playing badminton (and socialising, if that counts). oh, badminton. 

BADminton. i played in my first ever game season (league games aren’t very popular  where im from) so i was mighty excited but unfortunately im injured. again. and im completely out of the season and i didn’t even manage to play a quarter of the games…seriously…badminton was pretty much my therapy and of course the universe has to take it away from me. again. sigh, i can probably sulk for an entire book. but i will not, out of respect for my time and energy and your time and energy.

my english has gotten worse due to the lack of reading of high quality writings (and perhaps of too many low quality ones). now that i once again have more time, im picking up reading again. like, of real books that’s been proofread and so. and oh ive watched a few animes hahahah and i guess i am still slightly obsessed with Attack on Titan although i am temporarily abandoning the manga (i finished all of the currently available anime and the last part comes out on my birthday!)(if we consider the time zone differences). there are so much to watch, so much to read, so much to listen to, so much to play, so much to learn…so so so much to do, and if you were expecting me to end this sentence with “but so little time”, you are mistaken. 

i want to practice writing again for sure and i have a creative writing challenge idea that ive yet to execute, so, please stay tuned. 

BHK: day 11-12

kwyLeave a comment

hari kesebelas

remember i said i was having a games night? we ended up just chatting till almost 1:30am…and so i woke up pretty late and was basically just really tired the entire day. didn’t do much except chilling and doomscrolling.

i however showered four times though, because of allergies, godammit. i slept really late too because of the allergies and had to distract myself (with YouTube).

Fifty Shades was on the 10th place today.

bottom right: Duolingo asking me some really hard questions

hari keduabelas (idek if this is the correct spelling)

why are there so many insects in this room??? i have committed at least 5 murders today on ants (ant-icide?).

i rushed some tasks for the university project and had a meeting too. that is easily the most productive thing ive done today.

according to my rough estimations, i would need about 4 more bottles of water to survive if i were being discharged tomorrow around noon. they gave me 10 so i’m thinking of doing a drinking game with water. im watching Sexify later with my partner per Teleparty, maybe every time they say the word “sex” or imply something sexual??

ive also been starting to pack as if im really gonna go home tomorrow (it’s supposed to be till Sunday), it’s not like i unpacked a lot but im really looking forward to leaving this Allergy Dungeon filled with crawling and flying insects! i actually brought a bunch of scrap paper too but i only used like 10% of it hahahahhaa.

apparently my dad’s been spending his MCO (Movement Control Order; basically a lockdown) deep-cleaning my room hahahah, so im looking forward to going home!

Fifty Shades is not on the charts anymore!

bottom left: ordered chicken rice from Outside again! ; bottom left: ready for the drinking game!

PS: another two ant-icides happened while writing this.