my pledge to donate

for a summary, please see my tweet(s) 

i will not discuss anything about racism in this post.


 my pledge is to donate at least an amount of money the same as my age every year to a worthy cause.

before anyone comes to me with the “well not everyone has that kind of extra cash as you!”, here is the maths.

i am currently 23 years old. next year i will be 24, so let’s take that as an example since the numbers would be round and beautiful.

24 divided by twelve months is just 2 a month. or 0.50 a week.

(please note that i omitted currency symbols since everyone uses a different currency. you may donate 24JPY (about 0.24€ or 0.22$) as you please.)

most of my peers are already working, and i doubt that it’s that hard to save 0.50 of something per week. even for students, it is doable.

for every new year, the amount that you need to save per month is increased by 1 divided by 12 which is about 0.083 per month. it takes a full 12 years for you to have to save an extra one something per month. and don’t tell me your earning capacity will not increase after 12 years. (ok maybe you would actually tell me that and i am sorry)

even if you are 96 years old, you only have to donate 2 per week, 8 per month. well sorry to assume that everyone would have a wealthy retired life but these are just examples. you could of course pay forward during your more able years.


why donate?

unless your job exclusively focuses on making certain minorities’ lives better or if you volunteer, all talk is not helping in any way. what we can do is offer our time and energy (that does not include being angry on social medias), or something more substantial, like money or other material goods.

for those who don’t have the time and/or energy to help, money would be more practical since it’s hard to know what needs there are.

does everyone have to donate?

no. only do what you can within your capacity.

do i have to tell everyone that i donated?

no, it’s up to you. i can’t find the quote but basically, don’t do something just to tell people about it. be sincere. i posted because i am comfortable about it.

what other worthy causes are there?

tbh, i only know a few mainstreams one, like for refugees, LGBTQA+, climate change movements, orphanages, etc. ok climate change is not a person but you get it.


How to DIY your own sauna without spending a lot of money

i will slowly migrate all of my published stories on Medium to here. well, there are not a lot anyway.

originally posted on Medium; slightly edited for readability .


1. Make sure you are at Malaysia or somewhere near here; the trick is to get as close as possible to the Equator.
2. Park your car in the morning somewhere without shade, leave it there for at least two hours.
3. Go back to your car at sometime between 2pm-4pm.
4. Sit inside and do not start the engine. Also, wear long sleeves because you don’t want to get sunburnt and also for better results.
5. Don’t die of heat exhaustion.

Studies have shown that sauna-ing is very healthy and I have done a search online to know how often you should carry out this wonderful activity.


Very Important Disclaimer (VID) I: Please consult your doctor or general practitioner before trying this.

VID II: Kwan Wei Yen does not endorse this and if you die…oops sorry but you could only blame yourself for not reading VID I.

VID III: The above method would not work if it’s raining.

medical advices are so confusing

or maybe it’s just in Germany. or maybe because i’ve only needed help here in Germany. but wow.

anyway:


physiotherapist: go to your doctor and get referrals to come here again

me: i want to go to physiotherapy again

doctor: nope you’re going to an orthopaedic cos you shouldn’t need physiotherapy anymore


psychologist or counsellor lol idek who cos the mental health industry in Germany is even more confusing: you need to go to psychotherapy

me: i want to go to psychotherapy

doctor: nope you need a psychiatrist


at this point i’m not even sure if i have that many problems. but if anyone was asking, my university life is going great.

(kinda) done with the second semester

academics-wise, i’m officially done with semester 2, three days earlier than expected because some bad decisions in the past weeks led me to unregister from the last exam due to lack of preparation. and i don’t want to just “try to pass” in a subject that would be important to me in the future.

now for some reflections.

the semester started shaky as i further try to navigate the life as a student and trying to recover from a horrible first semester. i made plans. i was executing them. things were going good. and then of course, life would come fuck you up. i broke my dominant arm and a knee ligament, while playing badminton indoors. things pretty much just went downhill after that. although i was just physically incapable to go to classes for 1.5 weeks, the mental aftermath that i had to endure afterwards rendered me useless for more than half of the semester. i had to learn to use my left hand, which has gotten smarter but also still dumb at times; i still eat solely with my left hand but do most other things with my right hand, though it tires easily. i couldn’t go to classes because of the mental distress and i hated writing with my left hand after a while. i was betrayed and backstabbed badly while in the midst of this mess. i thought i couldn’t trust anyone anymore(not true), and i wouldn’t talk to my family (my poor poor dad). i literally faced all kinds of problems that a human could possibly face in a lifetime, other than financially, all at the same time. who wouldn’t slip into a depression like that? my routine started including going to physiotherapy, regular checkups at the hospital, going to the doctors, counselling, and group therapies. officially, i am engaged actively at two institutions for my physical health, and four institutions to maintain my sanity (i still went berserk sometimes, sorry for people who had to deal with it), and i went to my general practitioner often enough to realise that the first one sucked so i started going to a second one. this was rock bottom.

thus i started a battle with depression and anxiety. i still wouldn’t say that i conquered it but at least it has gotten better cos everything seems to be okay again. it begun with me starting a job at a university institute as a student assistant and in the same week i won a scholarship (that’s why i don’t have a financial problem xD). i really am happy at the job, it’s great to feel appreciated when you put in effort to do something. though i did (unsurprisingly) fail the first exam in the semester, the others that i sat for seemed to go quite well. and it really boosted my self-confidence.

there are of course some other things that happened that im still not comfortable to discuss in the open. what i really want to say is, i really am grateful for the people who stuck around and who believed in me (even when i was having serious doubts about myself) and gave me all the support to help me go through this. i now know who my true friends are, it’s still hard for me to cut off the toxic ones but for the sake of those of you who really care about me, i will.  shoutout to the all of you, mostly people who have known me for less than a year and people who might not understand me and my actions all the time because of cultural differences or otherwise but still chose to stay in my life. not to say that i don’t appreciate my old friends back at home and people in other parts of the world whom ive known longer, but we aren’t in the vicinity of each other and i now realise that it does make a difference. i still love you all, that’s for sure.

and i love all of you and i will try my best to regain full health (physically, mentally, and emotionally) as soon as possible and be the best person i could possibly be. i hope that you would still be there.

one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous

In 4 days I’ve managed to do some very dumb (but luckily pretty minor) things that could demonstrate my skills in being so clumsy that one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous.


  • So I’ve cut fingers with a knife twice in two months now, that makes it an average of once per month. It’s not a very shallow cut and some flesh is missing and there was an amount of blood but ya im still alive. Handicap-level was quite high though I cut my left hand cos I could barely shower and do dishes without feeling pain and coincidentally i was smart enough to host parties at my place so i had to make my guests wash the plates, #BestHostEver .

 

  • I choked while showering. Don’t ask me how.
  • I sprained my ankle very badly this morning cos i wanted to wake up to kill the alarm clock but somehow i twisted my ankle. While being half conscious. I think it was because my legs were numb beforehand so my leg isn’t correctly aligned? And I panicked because of that annoying alarm so boom, I’m jumping around my house on my other good foot. Handicap level is mega high cos i can barely move without feeling pain at the swollen fat ankle.

First update came just two days after i published the original. i really am gonna kill myself soon am i? It’s Thursday and I haven’t left my residence since Monday night because of the sprained ankle. However, I’m feeling a lot of love from my friends; neighbours helping me buy stuff from the city and checking on me, friends coming over to study with me and accompanying me, and generally a lot of kind messages and tips on healing my ankle.  Life is great. Okay not really cos there’s snow outside and i really wanna have a real snowball fight but i can barely run.

  • the reason why i’ve been reluctant to leave my home is because i’d have to put on shoes cos it’s cold outside (at home in Malaysia it’s perfectly fine with slippers) but my classmate and i saw people building a snowwoman (we know it’s a woman because she has long hair. sorry i don’t have a picture) so i had to go out. In slippers.  My extremities were so frozen that it hurt for a long while even when I got into the warmness of my house. so yeah. DUMB. But also, because of the freezing cold, i walked more normally in the snow cos my feet were numb.

 i broke an arm and a knee ligament playing badminton indoors

 

 


This post will be updated as I gather more convincing proofs that one day i would have a tearless funeral.

“It’s my birthday”

At the supermarket yesterday, while we were loading the things to the belt, the cashier was just looking at us and not scanning any of the products and smiling weirdly, then i realised that alcohol was the first thing in line so i quickly went over and said:
 
“oh hi do you need to see my ID? Here is my passport” (yes i am well prepared)
 
and she’s like: (while smiling tenderly)
 
“it’s fine, these aren’t liquors and you are allowed to buy these when you’re 16 and i think you look older than 16 but liquors are allowed when you are 18
*and then she saw that there was indeed liquor behind*
*so she paused and studied my face again*
hmm okay…errrr..i guess you are 20?? so that’s also okay, you can purchase them”
 
Then I said: “er well it’s my birthday today and i’m actually 22 now”
 
She: “AHHH THEN THAT IS COMPLETELY FINE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HAVE FUN!!!!”



I bumped into a friend on the street.

Me: HIIII HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She: ohhh happy new year to you too!!!…and merry christmas!
Me: haha thank you! It’s my birthday too today.
She: ahhhh and happy birthday then!
That’s how you kill three birds with one stone.


The question is: is it weird going around to say that??

Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22!!!!!



#iRadfahrer

To those who can’t German, “Radfahrer” means “cyclist”. So I bought a used bike that costs, like, RM750. I miss life in a developing country. I got a bike because the bus connections at where I live sucks and I hate adhering to schedules not written by me, so yeah. This is a diary and would be published once I could safely say that I am a professional cyclist here.


DAY 1

It’s the bicycle flea market today here in Aachen, it’s held once a month I think. I went there with my Buddy, who helped me check the bike and helped me save 25Euros (about RM125). I got a 20Euros lock too because bike theft is rampant here apparently.

I am very confused as to which traffic lights I should follow, the one for the cars, or the one for pedestrians, what I did just now was to follow the one that allowed me to cross first without endangering my life. The bike has a weird brake system where all I have to do is to try to pedal backwards, which was scary for me while I was cruising on the roads because I have the strange habit of pedalling backwards (when going down a slope) with a more normal bicycle. Basically what I mean is that I did a few emergency brakes without wanting to do it and nearly fell down.

It was a 20 minute ride and it’s very warm today, 26 degrees and very sunny. And I didn’t expect so much uphill rides. SO. MANY. I AM SO EXHAUSTED. On the bright side, that means I will be working out every day.

***

I cycled back at night too and luckily the roads weren’t too busy. I am still not sure where to cycle when there’s no cycling paths. I nearly bumped into someone on a street that I’m not sure if cycling was allowed.

I was speaking to a Dutch girl while we were waiting for the traffic light to turn red though there was no one around,  #iEchteDeutsche . I nearly fell down twice cos I forgot that my brake system is different now and Nice Dutch Girl wanted to stop a few times to make sure that I was okay. I also accidentally rang the bell at a few (possibly drunk) people and they looked up shocked and I apologised immediately and we all laughed. Hahaha.

I was super fine. Just a little exhausted from the uphill cycles…

DAY 2

I’ve been fumbling a little with the lock. It’s kinda annoying.

When I was cycling back just now, my eyes were so dry I couldn’t keep it open so I was essentially blind cycling…sort of. I was so glad to see a red traffic light and forced myself to yawn, that did the trick to moisturise my eyes a little.

It’s almost mid-October but I was sweating from the ride back. Am I too fat or because it’s really warm?? Hmm. We will never know.

DAY 3

I nearly fell asleep at a friend’s place and it’s Monday but I’m absolutely exhausted trololololol. Anyway I made it home safely yay.

DAY 4

My leg muscles hurt a lot. 😦

Initially my plan was to cycle a whopping three times home today and then fear took over and I took the bus instead and cycled home only once and it was faster than the days before. I’m happy.

DAY 7

I didn’t ride the bike home cos I was too exhausted to cycle. It’s parked somewhere in the city centre.

DAY 9

My bike has been parked in the city centre for two nights now and it’s the weekend but I’m lazy. I’m starting to miss the bikey. Mega exhausting day cos we had a party at 8.30am in my room lol.

DAY 11

The weather is getting cold, like super cold and people were in winter jackets and stuff but cycling makes me produce so much body heat that I end up sweating by the time I got home. Also my body seems to be more conditioned towards the terrain so it’s less exhausting now but still exhausting.

DAY 13

Was at a friend’s friend’s place for a Malaysian dinner (first time I had Malaysian food in over a month!!!) and dreaded the ride home because it felt very cold and I thought that I could have fallen asleep there. Nevertheless, through reckless cycling (who cares about the law at night) (the Germans do), and very very very brute force, I made it home.

I have to learn to love these hills.

DAY 26

I haven’t been cycling much last week because autumn was finally here and it was raining and cold, but also because I went to parties and was too lazy to cycle (also because the weather was shitty). And I actually stayed home a lot that’s why I didn’t need the bike.

Today I cycled again and I’m getting more good at this #iRadfahrer thing because I no longer have that awkward pause when I start peddling, like I needed the pedals to be at a certain position; mainly because I have short legs too. I am also able to swiftly transition from being on the wheels to getting down and start walking the bike; usually when the traffic lights turned red, I’d become a pedestrian and continue cycling again after I cross the road. I don’t know if this was legal and I don’t intend to find out.

DAY 41

the weather is getting really cold now and there was a strong wind and i nearly veered off. brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

DAY 58

honestly haven’t been cycling much cos im lazy though i always blame the weather. Anyway i think i can call myself a Radfahrer now because:

  • i chose to cycle to class today instead of walking to a bus stop further away when the bus didn’t come and no one knew why (bloody Aachener buses!!!)
  • a classmate who’s originally from Aachen, who cycles regularly went like: “WHAT????” when i told her that i cycled to class today cos it was raining and cold; she doesn’t cycle that much anymore too
  • i wanted to buy eggs but i decided against it cos i. wanted. to. cycle. home. So i went home with spring onions and paprika and some books tucked into my backpack that made the ride more difficult because of the extra weight. On top of that, it started bloody raining after i started pedalling and i didn’t have my hoodie up and i was wearing gloves and i had to cycle like a drunkie while trying to wear the hoodie with a gloved hand while also using the other hand to try to maintain control on a slippery road.
  • i didn’t die from the above incident

I don’t think I can call myself a professional cyclist yet cos I’m still reluctant to get a helmet and reflecting safety lights but at least now I can safely say that it’s hard to kill me on the Aachener roads now.


okay bye this is the end of this post that took 58 days to write.

 

 

cos i had a bad day

though i actually don’t feel that bad but it’s actually bad. why am i so optimistic. anyway it’s late so this is gonna be a listicle.


BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY (November 12, 2018):

  • Belgian train delays en route back to Aachen. The trains were never on time anyway.
  • my bolster broke open and most of its inner organs came out while i washed it in the washing machine. i am so sad. the bolster has been with me for almost 15 years i think. i’m gonna be a surgeon and sew the wound. but tomorrow.
  • i bought a cork board to better organise my stuff and i also bought Sugru for that matter but the board was too heavy and i spent 30 minutes trying to fix it on my wall and ultimately gave up which is shitty cos there are now stains on my wall and an unhanged cork board.
  • i didn’t get a cheese cloth to sieve my honey oat vodka so i had to do it manually by hand. for a longgggg time. feeling so dumb.
  • a bus driver got out of his bus to scold me cos apparently i was cycling to close to the bus.
  • i normally look forward to receiving letters in the mail but today i got one that notifies me that i have to pay some taxes. worse thing is, they didn’t even spell my full name out and got my gender wrong. how dare they ask me for money if they don’t even respect my basic identity.
  • freaking drying machine didn’t work
  • i accidentally locked myself out of the room while returning some stuff to a friend. the problem could be easily solved cos i know the caretaker well. but. there is always a but. BUT lazy ass me has the habit of leaving my key in the keyhole so i don’t misplace them anywhere else in the room so my key was left in the keyhole and the replacement key wouldn’t work. that’s why the caretaker had to pry open my door (he did it in less than 30 seconds) and i have to pay a fine tomorrow.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:

  • i had a great weekend in Belgium though i spent too much money and calories.
  • i managed to do some home improvement stuff
  • i did rock-climbing!! it was soooooooo funnnnnnn i can’t wait to go again
  • i handed in my homework on time
  • i have great friends!!!