Category: Creative Tea

unhinged

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every time i see this word, i think of a door that isn’t attached to a frame. that’s the image that i usually associate it with.

but now that im feeling unhinged; instead of doing something productive like catching up on sleep; im contemplating this term.

i can’t tell if im feeling lightheaded because of a minor sleep deprivation, because im stopping antidepressants and therefore feeling nauseous, or because my mind is really unhinging itself from the rest of me.

to be honest, i don’t know why unhinged should commonly be used interchangeably with crazy. it looks too hinged to be unhinged.

so i propose an alternative: untethered. visually im seeing a kind of cord cut loose…cut free. although this word seems to be more widely used in other contexts, i think they should instead use unhinged in those situations.

“hey are you still stuck with that job?” “yes i am very hinged to it”
“are you together with that person?” “no we are unhinged from one another.”

im such a sucker for semantics.

i guess people normally describe someone as crazy when the subject seems to have no limits in the way that they act/think — their life philosophy is untethered to social conventions.

what im trying to say is, being crazy may actually be a way of being free.

watermelon

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a writing challenge with a friend. procrastinated for two months and finally wrote it while being layover in Istanbul without WiFi. 

Once upon a time, there was a Melon Water. Mr Water was born in South Africa and grew up in one of the most affluent families there. The Waters was the biggest exporter of watermelons in South Africa and Melon was the only heir to the family business. However, like every story worth writing about, Melon didn’t care about melons, maybe because his name reminded him too much of it. 

He grew to especially despise watermelons because he was always selected to represent his class in the school’s annual watermelon-eating competition. The year he won, he was accused of eating his own kind and got laughed at. The years he lost, he was mocked at for losing to normal humans and got laughed at. Sometimes when the family had a vacation at a country where the last name is stated before the first name, there would be muffled laughs as he crossed custom controls. His family’s financial wealth clearly didn’t guarantee Melon Water a great social status, therefore as he grew older, the more he found that money was useless and he became a very known squanderer. Oh wells, his family had the means to let him do whatever he wanted, since money was technically a renewable resource to them, since it’s so easy to grow watermelons. 

As he approached adulthood, Melon Water’s parents started urging him to study business administration at a university so that he could prepare to take over the watermelon empire his great great great granddad built. Melon refused to. Then his parents threatened to cut his financial aids. Then Melon complied reluctantly. 

On the first day of university, Melon fell in love at the first sight with a girl who only wished to identify herself as Ms Sugar. Afraid that he would leave a bad first impression with his real full name, he decided to call himself Mr Water. Sugar didn’t see a problem. And so Water and Sugar started seeing each other. Sugar was a damned good student and to impress her, Melon started studying very hard too in the name of love. They were the two best students in the degree course. Papa Water and Mama Water were really pleased and recruited Ms Sugar into their company too after their graduation. Melon and Ms Sugar worked surprisingly well together and even grew the business too include growing and selling berries. 

Soon, it’s time to talk about marriage. Ms Sugar whelped and said yes. The thing was, Melon still addressed his soon-to-be wife as “Ms Sugar” or sometimes more affectionately,  “Su”. They both decided that, while registering for their marriage at the city council, they would both come out to each other with their first names. Both were no longer worried that the other would ridicule them. 

The day has finally arrived and as they both glanced at the marriage certificate, they burst into laughter. On the paper, it stated “Husband: Mr Melon Water; Wife: Ms Watermelon Sugar”. 

Watermelon’s parents were young and dumb and were addicted to the Harry Style’s song when she was born and somehow decided that it was a name that makes sense. Their first names gave them even more the reason to connect with each other and they lived happily ever after. 

turning through

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This feeling of uncalmness,

i-don’t-feel-like-myself-ness;

is threatening to demolish my fortress,

the one of self-dependent toughness.

 

Negativity-spreading is my new big thing,

perhaps i need a new fling;

no, really it’s not good timing,

can’t risk what it may bring.

 

Stop, please stop,

i think i’m gonna pop,

what’s it like at the top,

do i still have a shot

 

I am so filled with ruth,

i need help is the truth,

but to look for people who could soothe,

i’m not sure if it’s a good move.

 

I thought i’ve became stronger,

much less vulnerable,

yet in fact i am still incapable

to bear the fruit of my labour.

Cats

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I’m afraid of you,

You’re (hopefully ) afraid too.

When our paths crossed,

It’s like time paused.

We stare at each other,

Not moving a muscle.

I don’t hate you for sure,

I’m just scared of fur.

Erm

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I don’t feel happy

I don’t feel sad too

I desire to cry

But I don’t feel it

Everything feels odd

Yet I know myself

This is unpleasant

I will get through this

A love letter by an alien, to an alien

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originally published on a blog i tried to keep  and with a few minor edits

 

Hi you,

We met last week in school, you were training to use laser guns and you accidentally shot one of my ears off. It grew back, no worries.

I…have a confession to make.

Even with my cuboid dysfunctional brain, I could conclude that, I love you.

Your eyes, one at the front, one at the back, one on the left, another on the right, are so perfectly placed I fell in love with it.
Your nose, so tiny and barely visible yet I could see it through my magnifiable vision. It is cute, I would like to pinch it (sadly, I was born with claws and don’t worry I will not hurt you with it).
Your ears, so beautiful. I remember seeing it in the Earthling Biological Science textbook, you have ears like the Earth creature called, voila, elephant. It is so beautiful.
Your mouth, perfectly round yet so cute. I would like to kiss that very much, I truthfully wish that you would give me the chance to do so even if my lips are a perfect square.

I love your everything.

Your smile, although your lips are still a circle when you smile, but I can tell it when you smile, I swear. It is always heartmelting.
Your attitude, hot and cold, polite and rude; you are always different at times. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that you have disociative identity disorder or that you’re bipolar. I just love the way you are.
Your skin color, pink and green checkered boxes, matches my turquoise and orange stripes. See, we were bornt to be together.
You’re running around in my head and taking my precious time; I think of you everyday, every minute, every second, every millisecond, every nanosecond, even every picosecond.
The way you walk, so graceful, leaving a slippery trail and the sweet smell of you. I just don’t understand why do other people hate that smell and slime. I just know that I love you.

I promise you, I would make you the happiest being in the Universe.
I would hold you until whenever.
I would never let go
I would love you.

Even with my cuboid dysfunctional and lovedrunk brain, I could conclude that, I love you.

Would you consider giving me a chance, pretty pretty please?

True love,
Me.

Hollowness

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I bought a book,

A book of lists,

Lists to make,

For the future.

Like:

What would you

Have achieved

In 5 years?

Like:

What strange spot

Would you have

Slept over?

Like:

Which of friends

Do you think

Would still be there?

I thought that

It’d be easy;

I’m the easiest

To be fooled.

I think not,

That I’m lost

For ideas,

I have a lot.

Alas I’m

Just a girl

Who feels just

Like a human.

Perhaps

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originally published on Medium

 

Perhaps my heart still aches,

Even ever so slightly;

Whenever I see your name, though it wasn’t you;

Whenever I listen to heartbreak songs, which lyrics are so eerily parallel to us;

Whenever I reminisce in our shared memories, it wasn’t a lot anyway.

 

 

Perhaps a part of me still long for you,

Even though it would never work;

Because we stopped existing in each other’s lives, what’s left is just swimming in our brains;

Because of our backgrounds, culture and society are such necessary nuisances;

Because it was lopsided, where I was falling way off balance without noticing where you were standing.

 

 

Perhaps I still would want to see you again,

Perhaps we would meet each other again,

Perhaps you would want to see me again,

Perhaps we could be friends again.

 

 

Perhaps I should sleep,

It’s 4.20am.

 

 

Perhaps I should just let go of you, even if, perhaps, that was the best thing that’s ever happened to me (thus far).