observations; im taking responsibility

well it took me till Wednesday to realise that i switched off my extra alarm for some reason during the weekend and Apple Watch just can’t wake me up…today i snoozed for two hours cos i was too sleepy. dammit. i think i require more than an hour to wind down and chill before being able to fall asleep.

this is a weird mental block that i have: that when i wake up late, i feel like the day has already been ruined and it’s hard for me to do things that i have to. but now it’s getting better. like i had to go to the hospital yesterday and still managed to watch some uni videos in the afternoon. i guess im getting better but this mental block pretty much fills my head with negative sentiments that i just…don’t feel like doing anything.

if there was anything that i have learnt about such things (yeah i couldn’t put a name to it cos i just woke up and my brain doesn’t even want to express its unsolicited opinions) is that i can fight it. so piss the fuck off, phrenic demons aka productivity murderers.

anyway, i think i’ll reset the challenge and restart on January 18th, 2021. to April 28th, 2021 (my brother’s birthday!). Each day counts even if things were not achieved (and there would be failed #ofCode days, considering the exam season in about a month and i have other exams to prepare). #ofwakingupearly , #ofMeditation , and #ofFrench will go on.

my name is Wei Yen, and it’s just the second week of the new year, and my resolutions have failed. i don’t want to quit though. i will try again.

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