I could die next week, tomorrow, or at the next second

And have no regrets.


Sure, maybe there are stuff that I’d wish that I’ve done like going to Iceland, marrying, and achieve my dreams. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not okay with not checking them off my bucket list.

Why is the topic of death always a taboo? Is death really that terrifying? That’s the end of the journey anyway. It doesn’t matter what you’ve accomplished when you are alive; Albert Einstein died, so do Adolf Hitler. It is inevitable despite what the current scientific advances are trying to prove. Even if humans were one day biologically immortal, Mother Nature could take down humanity easily.

Put simply: it is impossible to live forever.

I don’t believe in afterlife (though on paper I’m supposed to be a Buddhist and the afterlife in Buddhist is being forever at this place called “The World of Extreme Happiness”). Now fuck it, why do I need that much happiness? Why even do people thrive for happiness? You need  to know how sadness feels like before you understand the emotions of being happy, or else “being happy” would just be a very normal mental state; and once it’s normal, it’s not special anymore and it wouldn’t be appreciated that much. So yeah, embrace sadness and all other negative feelings.


In the Chinese culture, people avoid talking about death so much that even joking about it is unacceptable. Since I have no fucks to give, I’d say stuff like:

Yeah, I’ll see you after I’m back from Japan. Unless the plane crashed then goodbye forever.

Yeah, I guess we could meet in two months time if I were still alive by then.

Seriously, I don’t mind dying. And sorry for getting to the point this late but what I want to convey is actually cliche af, so cliche that I think people stop pondering upon it cos everyone says it all the time, everywhere, but no one really implements it:

Do the things that you really want to do, not what the society asks of you. You are the one living your life, not the fucking society. You would not be likable by the society (oh, trust me, I’m a pro) but really, who would want to watch a movie about an ordinary person with a normal(boring) life?

And when you live like that, death is really nothing to be fearful of.


∴ with this, I’d like you, the reader, whether you’ve known me or not, to know that, if I died young (how old is “young” anyway), please know that, I am totally at peace with that. I have no regrets at all, I’ve learnt to be able to say things that I want to say; hell, I confessed my feelings to all of my crushes BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU MOVE ON WITH LIFE KIDS; I’ve done a bunch of crazy things that people would probably never experience in a their entire lifetime; I can say that I have friends from all over my homeland and the world, so yeahhhhhhhhhhh my time on Earth was well worth it in my opinion.


Potentially Asked Questions (PAQs)

But there are so much more to see and do in this beautiful world, how could you just leave like that??!!!

I have accepted the fact that I’d never be able to see everything in this world or taste the best delicacies from everywhere, I’d also never experience all of the wonderful things that this world has to offer. So what if you have seen everything? Things change all the time and maybe it became better the moment you left a place but you missed it.

Be content and not greedy.

Are you trying to say that we should all die young?

Nope. I just wanted to say: Don’t be afraid of death.

How could you selfishly leave your family and friends behind?

Hey, I’m not killing myself here. I just said that I’m fine with dying anytime.

But not everyone has the means to be able to do whatever they want to do, you privileged spoiled brat.

Then work towards it. “Means” would be translated to “money”, “time”, and/or “permission”. First, you have to know what you are working for, to solve the “money” part. Then, you need to know what you are willing to sacrifice, to solve the “time” and “permission” part. Most importantly, know what you really want and how much would that cost. Everything else would come into place.

Do you actually look forward to life?

Yes, I do. I look forward to meeting new people and learning new things and exploring new places and experiencing new cultures and more.

What about your other half?

I currently don’t have one. I admit that my ideology might change once I met someone, but currently there’s no one. And maybe I’d die first before having someone so I’d not bother thinking about it first.

So when do you think you will die?

When Death comes to capture me.

How do you think you will die?

idk, but i hope that it doesn’t take long and painful.

This section would be updated as more questions arise.

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