Lessons Learnt While Making (and Losing) Friends

  1. First impressions don’t really matter. Think about this: once you made a good impression; either by dressing up or acting like you normally wouldn’t, you’re gonna struggle a lot to preserve that image of you.
  2. Don’t expect people to treat you the same way as you treat them.
  3. You will meet new humans and you might have less time for the old ones, but keep in touch not just by seeing each other on social medias; initiate personal contact with them.
  4. People grow apart. According to Dunbar’s number, which is 150, that’s the average number of stable social relationships we can handle at one time. That means that, as you move on to next chapters in your life, the people in your direct vicinity change too and the names on the list of 150 change. Some names would be removed and replaced by new names. And that’s okay.
  5. People are generally nice and friendly, even if there is a language barrier.
  6. “It doesn’t degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them.” – Ryan Holiday
  7. Knowing just a few words/phrases in someone’s native language can easily make someone’s day. However, do not know too many or else it might convey the impression that you actually speak the language, which of course makes someone’s day even more, but then you’d have to put on a poker face because you absolutely understood nothing when they spoke more and that someone’s day would then be a teeny bit ruined.
  8. It’s possible to love platonically.
  9. It’s easier to make new friends when you’re alone…even easier if your new friend was also alone. Loners attract. That’s kwy’s Friendship Law.
  10. Despite the amount of friends I have (ya i admit that i’m quite sociable) I think it’s very important to be able to be alone, being the company of yourself. Though I have failed to execute this well at the time of finishing the draft.
  11. Do not text someone you care when you’re in the company of someone else you care. Two things here; you should respect the company; and because you might not be focusing completely on both parties, you might sound rude
  12. Trust your intuitions about someone you just met. Bad vibes always turns out to be true in some way. Protect yourself.
  13. You really only need a few friends that truly care about you and support you. Quality > quantity.
  14. When asking for advice:  people will impose their reality on you and tell you stuff based on very different mindsets. So only ask for advice from people with whom you’d trade places with.
  15. Never take advantage of your friends in any regard. Or make them feel taken advantage of.
  16. Everyone has boundaries that might be very different from yours; physically, emotionally, mentally.
  17. Dropping someone off will always be hard, no matter how much that someone has wronged you.
  18. Envy shouldn’t exist in a friendship; you should be genuinely happy for a your friends’  achievements.

turning through

This feeling of uncalmness,

i-don’t-feel-like-myself-ness;

is threatening to demolish my fortress,

the one of self-dependent toughness.

 

Negativity-spreading is my new big thing,

perhaps i need a new fling;

no, really it’s not good timing,

can’t risk what it may bring.

 

Stop, please stop,

i think i’m gonna pop,

what’s it like at the top,

do i still have a shot

 

I am so filled with ruth,

i need help is the truth,

but to look for people who could soothe,

i’m not sure if it’s a good move.

 

I thought i’ve became stronger,

much less vulnerable,

yet in fact i am still incapable

to bear the fruit of my labour.

A Collection of Heartbreak Quotes by Yours Truly

For when you are sad because of this emotion called LOVE


  1. That part of my heart that belongs to you might shrink in the future; but it will always be there.

  2. In life, you’ll have love stories. Most of them would be sad stories, but you only need one happy story. I used to think that we could be a happy love story.

  3. Humans and heartbreaks, a package; Sometimes we, be gladly damaged.

  4. I’m not sure why is my body still intact when I feel that I’ve broken into a million pieces.

  5. It’s not easy. But darling, I could never rescue you.

  6. The piercing silence accentuates my loneliness.

  7. The longest distance might be me caring about you but not daring to let you know.

  8. Just thinking of you again. How are you?

  9. Oh a heartbreak, I don’t need this reminder that I can love.

  10. It hurts that, then, it would be as if we’ve never met each other.

  11. Have you ever felt so hurt that you had to physically rub your heart to relieve the pain? I have.

  12. I just wish that I walked deeper into your heart, as deep as where you walked into mine.

This post is updated as often as the author feels sad too and manages to string together words to convey her feelings. So yeah, I didn’t copy any of these from nowhere (I meant “somewhere”) and if there were similarities with something you’ve read, it must be coincidental. I bloody swear.
UPDATE: the author didn’t know it was possible; but she realised that it is possible to no longer feel some of the things mentioned before and so she deems it fit to remove quotes that are no longer relatable to herself. Maybe one day there wouldn’t be a quote left. That would be a happy ending. Yeah, the happy ending is a blank post.

Thursday. Aachen. Tired.

i have an exam tomorrow and it’s my first one since forever. im doing a subject that could be loosely translated to “Measurement Technology” where we basically study about measuring things. it’s a huge pain in the ass but is pretty doable even with my meagre German because we are allowed to bring in a cheat sheet. i might still fuck things up but hey, it might be a great welcome/warm up back to the academics life. im pretty tired so i thought of doing some light reading before heading to bed early tonight. having marijuana tea (no THC content though) to calm myself down; definitely enjoying the night

READ

all the reasons to write. really. great list

why people ghost. doesn’t answer my questions but i think im pretty much over my own issues 

so some DNA tests wrecked havoc in a family. i would do a test like that to know more about my ancestry back in China but i guess it’s a little hard for now as these technologies aren’t as well-developed and things may not be as extensively recorded in Asia???