A Collection of Heartbreak Quotes by Yours Truly

For when you are sad because of this emotion called LOVE


  1. That part of my heart that belongs to you might shrink in the future; but it will always be there.

  2. In life, you’ll have love stories. Most of them would be sad stories, but you only need one happy story. I used to think that we could be a happy love story.

  3. Humans and heartbreaks, a package; Sometimes we, be gladly damaged.

  4. I’m not sure why is my body still intact when I feel that I’ve broken into a million pieces.

  5. It’s not easy. But darling, I could never rescue you.

  6. The piercing silence accentuates my loneliness.

  7. The longest distance might be me caring about you but not daring to let you know.

  8. Just thinking of you again. How are you?

  9. Oh a heartbreak, I don’t need this reminder that I can love.

  10. It hurts that, then, it would be as if we’ve never met each other.

  11. When talking to people whom I’ve just met, I still refer to you as “one of my friends”.

  12. Have you ever felt so hurt that you had to physically rub your heart to relieve the pain? I have.

  13. 睡觉时不敢靠着左侧睡,很怕这样就压碎了心,就这样死了。

  14. 我到底要等到什么时候才能名正言顺地爱着一个人啊

  15. I just wish that I walked deeper into your heart, as deep as where you walked into mine.

This post is updated as often as the author feels sad too and manages to string together words to convey her feelings. So yeah, I didn’t copy any of these from nowhere (I meant “somewhere”) and if there were similarities with something you’ve read, it must be coincidental. I bloody swear.
UPDATE: the author didn’t know it was possible; but she realised that it is possible to no longer feel some of the things mentioned before and so she deems it fit to remove quotes that are no longer relatable to herself. Maybe one day there wouldn’t be a quote left. That would be a happy ending. Yeah, the happy ending is a blank post.

Thursday. Aachen. Tired.

i have an exam tomorrow and it’s my first one since forever. im doing a subject that could be loosely translated to “Measurement Technology” where we basically study about measuring things. it’s a huge pain in the ass but is pretty doable even with my meagre German because we are allowed to bring in a cheat sheet. i might still fuck things up but hey, it might be a great welcome/warm up back to the academics life. im pretty tired so i thought of doing some light reading before heading to bed early tonight. having marijuana tea (no THC content though) to calm myself down; definitely enjoying the night

READ

all the reasons to write. really. great list

why people ghost. doesn’t answer my questions but i think im pretty much over my own issues 

so some DNA tests wrecked havoc in a family. i would do a test like that to know more about my ancestry back in China but i guess it’s a little hard for now as these technologies aren’t as well-developed and things may not be as extensively recorded in Asia???

Tuesday. Aachen. Gonna be stuck up here at the mountains for a few days

well i sprained my ankle today but i should have enough food in my freezer to survive

READ

i really wanna start journaling again. maybe incorporating everything in a Bullet Journal. but ahh, im lazy. so maybe a digital one

woooooo Malaysia won the World Pastry Cup 2019!!!!

26 facts about pandan. i hate how this very Southeast Asian (very Malaysian too in fact) thing is here sometimes portrayed as a Western finding. zzz Westerners.

one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous

In 4 days I’ve managed to do some very dumb (but luckily pretty minor) things that could demonstrate my skills in being so clumsy that one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous.


  • So I’ve cut fingers with a knife twice in two months now, that makes it an average of once per month. It’s not a very shallow cut and some flesh is missing and there was an amount of blood but ya im still alive. Handicap-level was quite high though I cut my left hand cos I could barely shower and do dishes without feeling pain and coincidentally i was smart enough to host parties at my place so i had to make my guests wash the plates, #BestHostEver .

 

  • I choked while showering. Don’t ask me how.
  • I sprained my ankle very badly this morning cos i wanted to wake up to kill the alarm clock but somehow i twisted my ankle. While being half conscious. I think it was because my legs were numb beforehand so my leg isn’t correctly aligned? And I panicked because of that annoying alarm so boom, I’m jumping around my house on my other good foot. Handicap level is mega high cos i can barely move without feeling pain at the swollen fat ankle.

First update came just two days after i published the original. i really am gonna kill myself soon am i? It’s Thursday and I haven’t left my residence since Monday night because of the sprained ankle. However, I’m feeling a lot of love from my friends; neighbours helping me buy stuff from the city and checking on me, friends coming over to study with me and accompanying me, and generally a lot of kind messages and tips on healing my ankle.  Life is great. Okay not really cos there’s snow outside and i really wanna have a real snowball fight but i can barely run.

  • the reason why i’ve been reluctant to leave my home is because i’d have to put on shoes cos it’s cold outside (at home in Malaysia it’s perfectly fine with slippers) but my classmate and i saw people building a snowwoman (we know it’s a woman because she has long hair. sorry i don’t have a picture) so i had to go out. In slippers.  My extremities were so frozen that it hurt for a long while even when I got into the warmness of my house. so yeah. DUMB. But also, because of the freezing cold, i walked more normally in the snow cos my feet were numb.

 


This post will be updated as I gather more convincing proofs that one day i would have a tearless funeral.

#iRadfahrer

To those who can’t German, “Radfahrer” means “cyclist”. So I bought a used bike that costs, like, RM750. I miss life in a developing country. I got a bike because the bus connections at where I live sucks and I hate adhering to schedules not written by me, so yeah. This is a diary and would be published once I could safely say that I am a professional cyclist here.


DAY 1

It’s the bicycle flea market today here in Aachen, it’s held once a month I think. I went there with my Buddy, who helped me check the bike and helped me save 25Euros (about RM125). I got a 20Euros lock too because bike theft is rampant here apparently.

I am very confused as to which traffic lights I should follow, the one for the cars, or the one for pedestrians, what I did just now was to follow the one that allowed me to cross first without endangering my life. The bike has a weird brake system where all I have to do is to try to pedal backwards, which was scary for me while I was cruising on the roads because I have the strange habit of pedalling backwards (when going down a slope) with a more normal bicycle. Basically what I mean is that I did a few emergency brakes without wanting to do it and nearly fell down.

It was a 20 minute ride and it’s very warm today, 26 degrees and very sunny. And I didn’t expect so much uphill rides. SO. MANY. I AM SO EXHAUSTED. On the bright side, that means I will be working out every day.

***

I cycled back at night too and luckily the roads weren’t too busy. I am still not sure where to cycle when there’s no cycling paths. I nearly bumped into someone on a street that I’m not sure if cycling was allowed.

I was speaking to a Dutch girl while we were waiting for the traffic light to turn red though there was no one around,  #iEchteDeutsche . I nearly fell down twice cos I forgot that my brake system is different now and Nice Dutch Girl wanted to stop a few times to make sure that I was okay. I also accidentally rang the bell at a few (possibly drunk) people and they looked up shocked and I apologised immediately and we all laughed. Hahaha.

I was super fine. Just a little exhausted from the uphill cycles…

DAY 2

I’ve been fumbling a little with the lock. It’s kinda annoying.

When I was cycling back just now, my eyes were so dry I couldn’t keep it open so I was essentially blind cycling…sort of. I was so glad to see a red traffic light and forced myself to yawn, that did the trick to moisturise my eyes a little.

It’s almost mid-October but I was sweating from the ride back. Am I too fat or because it’s really warm?? Hmm. We will never know.

DAY 3

I nearly fell asleep at a friend’s place and it’s Monday but I’m absolutely exhausted trololololol. Anyway I made it home safely yay.

DAY 4

My leg muscles hurt a lot. 😦

Initially my plan was to cycle a whopping three times home today and then fear took over and I took the bus instead and cycled home only once and it was faster than the days before. I’m happy.

DAY 7

I didn’t ride the bike home cos I was too exhausted to cycle. It’s parked somewhere in the city centre.

DAY 9

My bike has been parked in the city centre for two nights now and it’s the weekend but I’m lazy. I’m starting to miss the bikey. Mega exhausting day cos we had a party at 8.30am in my room lol.

DAY 11

The weather is getting cold, like super cold and people were in winter jackets and stuff but cycling makes me produce so much body heat that I end up sweating by the time I got home. Also my body seems to be more conditioned towards the terrain so it’s less exhausting now but still exhausting.

DAY 13

Was at a friend’s friend’s place for a Malaysian dinner (first time I had Malaysian food in over a month!!!) and dreaded the ride home because it felt very cold and I thought that I could have fallen asleep there. Nevertheless, through reckless cycling (who cares about the law at night) (the Germans do), and very very very brute force, I made it home.

I have to learn to love these hills.

DAY 26

I haven’t been cycling much last week because autumn was finally here and it was raining and cold, but also because I went to parties and was too lazy to cycle (also because the weather was shitty). And I actually stayed home a lot that’s why I didn’t need the bike.

Today I cycled again and I’m getting more good at this #iRadfahrer thing because I no longer have that awkward pause when I start peddling, like I needed the pedals to be at a certain position; mainly because I have short legs too. I am also able to swiftly transition from being on the wheels to getting down and start walking the bike; usually when the traffic lights turned red, I’d become a pedestrian and continue cycling again after I cross the road. I don’t know if this was legal and I don’t intend to find out.

DAY 41

the weather is getting really cold now and there was a strong wind and i nearly veered off. brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

DAY 58

honestly haven’t been cycling much cos im lazy though i always blame the weather. Anyway i think i can call myself a Radfahrer now because:

  • i chose to cycle to class today instead of walking to a bus stop further away when the bus didn’t come and no one knew why (bloody Aachener buses!!!)
  • a classmate who’s originally from Aachen, who cycles regularly went like: “WHAT????” when i told her that i cycled to class today cos it was raining and cold; she doesn’t cycle that much anymore too
  • i wanted to buy eggs but i decided against it cos i. wanted. to. cycle. home. So i went home with spring onions and paprika and some books tucked into my backpack that made the ride more difficult because of the extra weight. On top of that, it started bloody raining after i started pedalling and i didn’t have my hoodie up and i was wearing gloves and i had to cycle like a drunkie while trying to wear the hoodie with a gloved hand while also using the other hand to try to maintain control on a slippery road.
  • i didn’t die from the above incident

I don’t think I can call myself a professional cyclist yet cos I’m still reluctant to get a helmet and reflecting safety lights but at least now I can safely say that it’s hard to kill me on the Aachener roads now.


okay bye this is the end of this post that took 58 days to write.

 

 

cos i had a bad day

though i actually don’t feel that bad but it’s actually bad. why am i so optimistic. anyway it’s late so this is gonna be a listicle.


BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY (November 12, 2018):

  • Belgian train delays en route back to Aachen. The trains were never on time anyway.
  • my bolster broke open and most of its inner organs came out while i washed it in the washing machine. i am so sad. the bolster has been with me for almost 15 years i think. i’m gonna be a surgeon and sew the wound. but tomorrow.
  • i bought a cork board to better organise my stuff and i also bought Sugru for that matter but the board was too heavy and i spent 30 minutes trying to fix it on my wall and ultimately gave up which is shitty cos there are now stains on my wall and an unhanged cork board.
  • i didn’t get a cheese cloth to sieve my honey oat vodka so i had to do it manually by hand. for a longgggg time. feeling so dumb.
  • a bus driver got out of his bus to scold me cos apparently i was cycling to close to the bus.
  • i normally look forward to receiving letters in the mail but today i got one that notifies me that i have to pay some taxes. worse thing is, they didn’t even spell my full name out and got my gender wrong. how dare they ask me for money if they don’t even respect my basic identity.
  • freaking drying machine didn’t work
  • i accidentally locked myself out of the room while returning some stuff to a friend. the problem could be easily solved cos i know the caretaker well. but. there is always a but. BUT lazy ass me has the habit of leaving my key in the keyhole so i don’t misplace them anywhere else in the room so my key was left in the keyhole and the replacement key wouldn’t work. that’s why the caretaker had to pry open my door (he did it in less than 30 seconds) and i have to pay a fine tomorrow.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:

  • i had a great weekend in Belgium though i spent too much money and calories.
  • i managed to do some home improvement stuff
  • i did rock-climbing!! it was soooooooo funnnnnnn i can’t wait to go again
  • i handed in my homework on time
  • i have great friends!!!