watermelon

a writing challenge with a friend. procrastinated for two months and finally wrote it while being layover in Istanbul without WiFi. 


Once upon a time, there was a Melon Water. Mr Water was born in South Africa and grew up in one of the most affluent families there. The Waters was the biggest exporter of watermelons in South Africa and Melon was the only heir to the family business. However, like every story worth writing about, Melon didn’t care about melons, maybe because his name reminded him too much of it. 

He grew to especially despise watermelons because he was always selected to represent his class in the school’s annual watermelon-eating competition. The year he won, he was accused of eating his own kind and got laughed at. The years he lost, he was mocked at for losing to normal humans and got laughed at. Sometimes when the family had a vacation at a country where the last name is stated before the first name, there would be muffled laughs as he crossed custom controls. His family’s financial wealth clearly didn’t guarantee Melon Water a great social status, therefore as he grew older, the more he found that money was useless and he became a very known squanderer. Oh wells, his family had the means to let him do whatever he wanted, since money was technically a renewable resource to them, since it’s so easy to grow watermelons. 

As he approached adulthood, Melon Water’s parents started urging him to study business administration at a university so that he could prepare to take over the watermelon empire his great great great granddad built. Melon refused to. Then his parents threatened to cut his financial aids. Then Melon complied reluctantly. 

On the first day of university, Melon fell in love at the first sight with a girl who only wished to identify herself as Ms Sugar. Afraid that he would leave a bad first impression with his real full name, he decided to call himself Mr Water. Sugar didn’t see a problem. And so Water and Sugar started seeing each other. Sugar was a damned good student and to impress her, Melon started studying very hard too in the name of love. They were the two best students in the degree course. Papa Water and Mama Water were really pleased and recruited Ms Sugar into their company too after their graduation. Melon and Ms Sugar worked surprisingly well together and even grew the business too include growing and selling berries. 

Soon, it’s time to talk about marriage. Ms Sugar whelped and said yes. The thing was, Melon still addressed his soon-to-be wife as “Ms Sugar” or sometimes more affectionately,  “Su”. They both decided that, while registering for their marriage at the city council, they would both come out to each other with their first names. Both were no longer worried that the other would ridicule them. 

The day has finally arrived and as they both glanced at the marriage certificate, they burst into laughter. On the paper, it stated “Husband: Mr Melon Water; Wife: Ms Watermelon Sugar”. 

Watermelon’s parents were young and dumb and were addicted to the Harry Style’s song when she was born and somehow decided that it was a name that makes sense. Their first names gave them even more the reason to connect with each other and they lived happily ever after. 

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