this sentence is slowly turning into a part of my core identity. it seems like there is a fine line between playful banter that are only to evoke chuckles and hurtful jokes that might strike a chord or two or more; a line that is quite blur to me despite me acquiring new glasses recently.

i guess another reason why i seem to sometimes make distasteful comments that i thought would sound witty is because i always find myself to be the ass of the joke (a jokeass? haha). in most group settings, i will be targeted and though i am a self-proclaimed Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), i usually don’t mind being ridiculed in such environments. my logic: at least you’re not talking shit behind my back and it’s just for laughs. lmao, should i have taken some stuff more personally?? one of my closest friends thinks that i have a super high tolerance when it comes to things like this; they apparently even said something very hurtful to me once just to test my reaction. haha, i don’t even know which comment she meant. 😀

i do admit that i get affected if the same “joke” keeps coming up… because at this point, is it still a joke or is that what you really think? … perhaps there are people who have less tact than me, which is an achievement cos i set the bar damn low.

or maybe that is a price to pay when i try to be funny — i can’t please everyone and not everyone appreciates my humour. this might be the sole universal truth that everyone needs.

however, recently i wanted to attend an event where a good friend’s shitty ex was supposed to go. i was not sure what i wanted to do — maybe stare at them, say something sarcastic that is directed to them, or whatever. maybe they caught wind that i wanted to come, because they did not go, so i stayed home too. i guess sometimes i do mean to piss you off, but only if you are a bell-end.