Tag: injury

what on earth have i been doing in the past month

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in short: not much

the main highlight is the exam season and i just bloody realised that im not even halfway through my exams!!! what on earth!!!! it’s been forever!!!! and my grades aren’t even that excellent…i can totally understand people who drop out…it literally feels like a waste of time. [to my friends who are worried that i might do just that : fret not, im asian and some part of me still want to feel the pride associated with a piece of hopefully recycled paper]

i used the Chinese New Year and exams as excuses to eat a lot of Chinese takeout and meat so i gained a substantial amount of weight which is why im annoyed. another side effect of this is my diminishing wallet. but i was happy as hell!

my thumb is still broken and my surgery wound is for some reason a little infected??? after two months??????? tending to it has been annoying (by tending i mean ignoring it, which is harder to do than you think). i went for my first run this year and since the surgery last week, which was invigorating and at the same time breathless. it is winter part 5 or 6 now here in Germany so im a little frustrated that i cannot go out and run and “wiggle*” the my extra weight away. [*quoting this directly from a data analysis & visualisation slide; please see below]

i started using a shampoo bar and mmmmmm for someone who is basically trash i think im doing a great job in reducing waste.

one more very important thing is the improvement of my mental health. my psychotherapist is amazing mannnnn! (i differentiate between a psychotherapist and physiotherapist because it wouldn’t be long till i have both in my life again)

i haven’t been reading as much as i wanted to so in some way, i feel like a stupider person. i have been however watching shows “to relax after a tense day of studying(cramming- because i didn’t do shit during the semester)” which is obviously just another excuse to not grow my mind in a more productive way during my free time…not proud of it but im chronically lazy person so yes, i will accept this personality flaw without question (cos that takes effort).

i have ideas for some EXCITING side projects to do in the near future…but first i need to. get. through. exam. anxiety. im combatting it by writing way more exams than i used to. i think im currently slated for more exams in this one semester than the last two combined … someone is trying to sprint to the finish line 8)

my brain was kinda swimming in keyboard vomit and i think i should just let it out so here it is…STAY ALIVE!!!!

it was the anniversary of me breaking half my body

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but then i forgot to post it. so here it is. basically it’s just an extended text from my Instagram post.

one year anniversary of the most memorable Labour Day in my life.  

but the real labour was on the day after, after i *smartly* refused painkillers when i first got sent to the hospital; well, that was just one in a series of bad decisions i made last year. 

another bad decision was to play badminton, which is quite laborious, on the day dedicated to NOT perform any labour. 🏸 

i very briefly contemplated covering the scars with tattoos but nah. visible scars are to serve as reminders i guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

today i can laugh about it because of how outrageous it was; as with most of the other poor choices. 

quoting Marcus Aurelius in Meditations:

“‘Unhappy am I because this has happened to me.’ — Not so, but happy am I, though this has happened to me, because I continue free from pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearing the future.” #wowintellectual

that’s the level of tranquility that i’m still working towards. 💩

•••

❓INJURY UPDATE❓

🌰 in a nutshell : i’ve accepted that my body would not recover to 100%. it’s probably gonna be a maximum of 95%. currently? maybe like 87%. 

🦾: i cannot exert strength for too long, so, carrying groceries and writing for a long time sucks sometimes. i need a surgery sometime soon to remove the metal things. hopefully hospitals could take in non-corona patients soon. and then hopefully things will be better. 

🦿: 70% of the time, i don’t remember that the leg was injured. the surgeon hit a nerve while operating so my right shin has been numb since October but…who even needs to feel something at that spot?? 😂 so im okay.

•••

once again, i wanna thank everyone who helped made my life after the accident more bearable. i read that sometimes it’s not the patients who suffer, but the caretakers (though it referred to dementia patients, but i think it’s generally true). nurses are my new heroes. except the one who merciless cut off my beautiful splint/bandage/that thing on my arm. 😢 

•••

and yes, i’d play badminton again the second i’m allowed to. #tryagainbetternexttime 🤗 

•••

PS: i think i’m a little ambidextrous now??? 

one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous

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In 4 days I’ve managed to do some very dumb (but luckily pretty minor) things that could demonstrate my skills in being so clumsy that one day i would die in such a dumb way that you couldn’t feel sad for me cos it’s so ridiculous.

  • So I’ve cut fingers with a knife twice in two months now, that makes it an average of once per month. It’s not a very shallow cut and some flesh is missing and there was an amount of blood but ya im still alive. Handicap-level was quite high though I cut my left hand cos I could barely shower and do dishes without feeling pain and coincidentally i was smart enough to host parties at my place so i had to make my guests wash the plates, #BestHostEver .

 

  • I choked while showering. Don’t ask me how.
  • I sprained my ankle very badly this morning cos i wanted to wake up to kill the alarm clock but somehow i twisted my ankle. While being half conscious. I think it was because my legs were numb beforehand so my leg isn’t correctly aligned? And I panicked because of that annoying alarm so boom, I’m jumping around my house on my other good foot. Handicap level is mega high cos i can barely move without feeling pain at the swollen fat ankle.

First update came just two days after i published the original. i really am gonna kill myself soon am i? It’s Thursday and I haven’t left my residence since Monday night because of the sprained ankle. However, I’m feeling a lot of love from my friends; neighbours helping me buy stuff from the city and checking on me, friends coming over to study with me and accompanying me, and generally a lot of kind messages and tips on healing my ankle.  Life is great. Okay not really cos there’s snow outside and i really wanna have a real snowball fight but i can barely run.

  • the reason why i’ve been reluctant to leave my home is because i’d have to put on shoes cos it’s cold outside (at home in Malaysia it’s perfectly fine with slippers) but my classmate and i saw people building a snowwoman (we know it’s a woman because she has long hair. sorry i don’t have a picture) so i had to go out. In slippers.  My extremities were so frozen that it hurt for a long while even when I got into the warmness of my house. so yeah. DUMB. But also, because of the freezing cold, i walked more normally in the snow cos my feet were numb.

 i broke an arm and a knee ligament playing badminton indoors

 

 

This post will be updated as I gather more convincing proofs that one day i would have a tearless funeral.