tl;dr: because it was a troll account.
for someone who seems to not take a lot of things seriously… i have a lot of anxiety, huh? this “fake it till you make it” thing sure isn’t doing it for me. anyway, before this turns into the autopsy report on my psyche, let me veer myself back onto course.
‼️ DISCLAIMER: I, A HUMAN BEING, WROTE THIS. (though i did use some help to check some grammar)‼️
i forgot to take a screenshot of my dead account but i can try to describe it like in a novel, so please try to visualise it:
On the social media platform dubbed the “Instagram for professionals,” amongst the one billion or so profiles1 marked with corporate mugshots, there existed at least one profile picture that seemed more fitting for the real Instagram. There I was, happily on the blue bridge in my favourite German city, Freiburg. I was smiling, but I dreaded the whole climb up and almost burst into tears for fear of falling down. My status or bio or about (i don’t even know what it’s called) was aptly:
“don’t mind me, i’m just messin’ around.“
honestly, i treated it like a new Facebook. people around me was talking about it and as an impressionable young adult, i joined the “trend.” i never for once thought that i would need it in my career2… ironically i now see the need to not need it for my career…
my official reason is due to a privacy concern. for someone who reviews their notes on this book regularly, i seemingly have not mastered the art. i deleted it exactly because of how i could be perceived by (important) people who have never met me in person, which is pretty much the most unfair thing you can do to a stranger; yet that happens all the time. i’ve turned a bit self-conscious about it.
as far as imposters are concerned, their bling bling profiles could be just that —— bling bling. this is of course unfair to actual qualified workers … though you can be high quality inside and out, i believe most people know someone who is impressive on paper but is an inherent douchebag; and vice versa. i would choose to work with people with pure hearts though psychopathy could be an important trait in professional settings.3 this sounds like i am implying that LinkedIn users are psychopaths but there are many more Professional Instagram profiles than psychopaths in the world; supposedly we assume all LinkedIn users are psychopaths, and according to the real statistic, only 8% of the total number of LinkedIn profiles are psychopaths. we then have a contradiction. ↯ 4
last but not least, for the record: i don’t hate LinkedIn and i do understand the function of it in the corporate world. it’s just not for me. just like how i don’t like oranges but many enjoy it.
alas, i am faced with the paradox of “To Self-Promote Or Not?”. hmm, mathematical paradoxes are more fun.
my study course combines mechanical engineering, computer science and mathematics. personally, i am more inclined towards mathematics (mathematical modeling, PDEs, optimisation) and computer science (computer architecture, AI, quantum computing). however, i also recognise that engineering knowledge like fluid dynamics and control engineering is crucial in identifying meaningful problems and building useful solutions. because, after all —— the world is also physical, not just virtual.
i love C++ (is this sarcasm? who knows?). Mathematica is cool, Python too. i was involved in the administration and R&D of a textile startup. also dabbled in smart textiles before. i taught heat transfer for a semester. productivity softwares are generally not an issue for me and i enjoy presenting information.
i convey myself best in English5. i can carry out tough conversations in Mandarin and German. i understand native speakers in Malaysian and Cantonese. i can say: je n’ai pas besoin de LinkedIn, parce que c’est un peu fou without a translator (though i checked just to make sure, and maybe “fou” is not very appropriate, désolée).
talking is honestly one of my favourite hobbies. in primary school, i was fired as the class monitor because i was caught talking too much (instead of ensuring peace and quiet) —— after a week on the job. one of my high school teachers once told me: “i knew right away who your younger brother is, because he talks as much as you.” i am also conversationally versatile, we can go deep or light and easy —— not unlike a talking machine but with more empathy (i hope!). due to this trait, i can only be productive when alone; because i am also skilled at being distracted and distracting others.
including the time as a toddler, i’ve learnt to walk for a total of five times6. despite the physical pain, i still go back to the root of it (badminton). but i no longer go back to living things who caused me emotional pain. what’s sarcastic is how albeit the permanent physical damage i have to endure, it is still easier to move on than the temporary7 emotional damage which is essentially invisible. therefore, i do contribute most of my struggles for being too emotional. thinking like an engineer, i will regulate this imbalance by committing to be more emotionally unavailable. because why feel things when you can do things?8
footnotes
- https://www.linkedhelper.com/blog/linkedin-demographics/#:~:text=one%20billion%20users.-,LinkedIn%20monthly%20active%20users,users%20according%20to%20recent%20statistics. ↩︎
- i think i’ve always wanted to create jobs rather than take them. ↩︎
- https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackmccullough/2019/12/09/the-psychopathic-ceo/ This article is more than 5 years old but i don’t think psychopaths can un-psycho themselves. ↩︎
- https://www.reddit.com/r/askpsychology/comments/1bfmahj/statistically_there_are_about_80_million/?rdt=42249 let’s face it, certain subreddits offer more insights than a hardcover textbook. ↩︎
- Malaysia was a British colony —— yet i try to honour the Queen’s spelling (i know it’s the King now but my late grandma’s —— who left us not so long ago —— nickname was Queen Elizabeth). sod off, american squiggly lines; and i am not capitalising Your Word on purpose. ↩︎
- both of my knee ACLs were torn, and due to anatomical reasons, i had to relearn to walk two times (before and after the surgery) on each leg. 75% of my extremities are damaged since i started studying in Germany. Deutschland or Pechland? ↩︎
- i know, debatable. ↩︎
- sounds worrying or familiar? please see footnote #2 ↩︎
i don't like kwy 