being angry

May 31, 2020May 31, 2020 kwyLeave a comment

Twitter has been angry and i made some observations. this is based on my tweet

social media is great. you get to see how it’s like

when powerful people get angry.

when famous people get angry.

when smart people get angry.

when stupid people get angry.

this got me to think and explore a little deeper and then i don’t think i lie in any of these categories (at least i hope not) then came the next thought (tweet)

and normal people being angry. which is pretty much…normal. like the healthy amount. not disproportionate.

and then since i provided some explanation on normal people being angry normally. how are the other angrys (not a legit word) like?

in my opinion:

powerful people: probably pulling strings to make things happen. could be good or bad. like undercover cops creating chaos? bad. but there might be good things that we don’t see (yet).

famous people: create awareness. tbh i wouldn’t even think much about the current issue if not for so many people speaking up about it. and that’s also a problem cos these issues actually appeared TO BE NORMAL to me. that’s actually kinda fucked up. i mean, i grew up in a country where i don’t get fair treatment because of my skin colour. so like, it’s been a tacit acceptance my whole life. haha

smart people: really subtly. they make you think why this happened (and come to conclusions on our own; which could deviate from what another individual thinks, but does that really matter?) and suggest ways that we could do to improve things. in a way, they would help us grow and leave this situation as a little better person.

stupid people: makes you want to say “yes you can be angry and you have the right to do so but you don’t have to be THAT angry” or “you’re being angry at the wrong thing”.

these are of course just my own views and my thinking could probably be more refined. maybe i’ll explore this topic further in the future. maybe i’ll leave this here. who knows.

thursday. Aachen. where did the coldness go?

May 21, 2020 kwyLeave a comment

also, i think it’s Father’s Day today and it’s a public holiday so yay i don’t have to go to work. have been slowly trying to get back to a better life rhythm (is that even a legit phrase) (if not, well, i just invented it). how is your life rhythm going?

READ

the coronavirus is creating chaos in the world in various ways; except the fact that we’re destroying Mother Nature less; but now it might even cause problems between people who are single and people who are not…who would’ve thought? everything that sociologists has ever learnt might all change after this ends hmm…

tuesday. sunnyyyyyyyyy. hi.

March 31, 2020 kwyLeave a comment

oh wow so ive disappeared for a few days cos ive been plagued (again) with crazy allergy and also i was making a bunch of calls to people who are half an Earth away. ive also watched a lot of TV #guiltyascharged

but i’ve also been writing physical letters so that one day, when someone asks me what i did during the war against the coronavirus, i could say: “i had to resort to writing snail mails (which actually isn’t very snail-ey in Germany) and in each i wrote ‘i hope that things will be normal again soon, and that we can see each other again soon’.”

SKIMMED

what’s new on Netflix this week! so excited to see that Molly’s Game will be up! i watched it through halfway last year on the flight back to Malaysia from Amsterdam (a whopping 11hour flight) but cos i intentionally exhausted myself in the week leading to the flight, i slept a lot on the plane and couldn’t even finish one movie lol. oh and la casa de papel! yesssss.

there’s a new entertainment platform called Quibi which is designed for the phone (whatever that means) and they are releasing Anna Kendrick’s comedy… #takemymoney

“tech projects to do instead of watching Netflix” lol this should be retitled as “how to organise your digital life during this lockdown”. but the bits about Raspberry Pi and repurposing old tech are technically projects. would love to do some Linux programming but oops too late, university starts again online next week ahahahahhaa

for people who want to watch online content virtually

READ

this Quibi thing sounds kinda interesting. and quite immersive. might be a cool way for certain artists to display their art in a new way

102 years ago it was the Spanish Flu. the key to flattening the curve is aggressive social distancing. that’s the key point of the article with statistics to support the notion

how the coronavirus could drastically alter urban life. yet another time-worth read from The Guardian

WATCHED

what is Rick and Morty doing with this Japanese samurai and grisly video

what i’ve done in the 8 months or so in my “second gap year” : a Report

March 27, 2020March 27, 2020 kwyLeave a comment

note: i can't believe i didn't publish this in 2018 lololol. i decided to not edit it (thus the present tense). well i went to Singapore and Indonesia after this post and read a few more books. that's about it.

It’s been 259 days since I came home from almost a year of being more than 10000km away, submerged in a completely different climate, culture, and language.

I was asked multiple times since: “Are you working or studying?”

I answered: “Neither.”

So from the persona I portray on social medias, people assume that I’m doing nothing, aka wasting my time and squandering my dad’s money (uh yes, I’m kinda a spoiled brat) and just having fun. Some people also thought that I stopped studying to travel (that’s a great idea actually except my wanderlust isn’t that big).

Well, I’m not trying to prove you wrong but I’m gonna remind myself about what I’ve actually done; this is a self-reflection and welcome to part of my world.

I have visited four Malaysian cities: Penang, Kampar, Ipoh, Malacca; and four countries: Australia, Japan, China, Hong Kong. I wasn’t home for approximately 43 days. Don’t ask me for my favourite city/country.

I met some very cool and nice people from everywhere in the world, and managed to engage in deep conversations with several of them. In contrast, there are Malaysians with whom I could not get over an exchange of formalities, even if we’ve known each other for ages.

I am trying to run a business to help people save time deciding what to wear, and mostly am broke because of this. It’s not really working because I made it hard to even decide what to buy. Well, I gotta learn. And I’m getting help. So wish me luck. And also please like the page on Facebook and follow it on Instagram, that would be much much much appreciated and thanks in advance! Oh yeah, my friends get a special discount code; ask and you shall receive.

I read 26 books (and actively reading two books) and also a bunch of articles. Mostly about philosophy and business, stuff completely unrelated to what I would be studying because why not.

I kinda learnt to read Hiragana and Katakana, two of the Japanese scripts. I’m determined to learn the language but…nah…I’m lazy. The same thing happened with French although with French, the pronunciation is still screwing me up.

I sent way too many postcards and festival cards that I think I can write a pretty accurate review of postal services of the countries I’ve been to. I definitely have enough knowledge of the postal products to work at a Malaysian post office.

I missed seven birthday bashes and am about to miss an eighth one…I am forever sorry.

I was briefly obsessed with rhythmic gymnastics and spent four full days camping at the stadium and then randomly getting an invitation to attend the gala dinner. Oh it was fun and disastrous.

I got a tattoo.

I spent a lot of time with my dad and my grandmother, and I think that’s something I will cherish in the future. My brother? He doesn’t want to spend time with me. But he said that he would buy me a PS4 controller and a game I want so I can play. Yay.

I started going to mental health therapy. I’m still not comfortable to disclose the details openly but I might tell you about it privately.

I watched a lot of films and TV and I also read about good films and good TV so I know what a good motion picture should be like but unfortunately most of what is on a screen is crap.

I somehow still manage to German. I’m super glad that I met (a lot of) Germans in Australia.

I gained a better appreciation for art, whether in the form of words, audios, visuals, and whatever.

I lost about 5kg. I’m not entirely sure how that happened and also I’m feeling more positive about my body image. Also, never ever call someone fat, you don’t know the full story.

I got an invitation to do the entrance exam at my dream university in Switzerland but ultimately had to decline it because…I don’t want to say. The university was the main reason why I acquired the German language. It’s a tough decision emotionally to let go of this dream, but oh, #life.

I learnt to make peace with the fact that, no matter how close two persons were; either platonically or romantically; things can change and it only requires the decisions of one side to make that change and unfortunately I am most of the time on the receiving end.

I kept in touch (or tried to keep in touch) with friends who are in about eight different time zones. The worst difference I’ve ever experienced was 17 hours…damn. Time zone differences is very weird but the best thing is always having someone to talk to no matter what time it is. It’s also amazing how I talk more to some friends who are hundreds of nautical miles away than some friends who stay a few minutes away in the same city.

I befriended a person who shares the same surname as me! She’s the first person I know with that surname who isn’t family (our surname, 管 , is very rare). How cool right!!!

I cold-emailed and cold-tweeted at people I find interesting, normally with no response, so I might be better at dealing at rejections now, however…

I shared a brief correspondence with some people in Hollywood.

I was rejected by the school in Germany where I’ll be studying in and spent two weeks in Japan checking my email inbox every day for a reply from my appeal. 12 hours after landing home from Tokyo, I got accepted after making a 10 minutes phone call. I wish I could give credit to my persuading skills but the truth is, they misconverted my grades before.

I started this blog.

I could not be happier to say that I’m going to Germany next month to start the next chapter of my life; the past two years were definitely wonderful interludes.

Wednesday. spring is coming. Aachen.

March 19, 2020 kwyLeave a comment

hello again, well, it’s the virus outbreak now so i’m pretty much staying home as much as i could. though i still go out quite often hahahaha. not very responsible of me. so i thought it might be a good idea for sharing what i’m reading again. i read some good pieces in the past two months or so but well, life caught in the way. this might turn into a diary of how im surviving this hahahaha.