unhinged

every time i see this word, i think of a door that isn’t attached to a frame. that’s the image that i usually associate it with.

but now that im feeling unhinged; instead of doing something productive like catching up on sleep; im contemplating this term.

i can’t tell if im feeling lightheaded because of a minor sleep deprivation, because im stopping antidepressants and therefore feeling nauseous, or because my mind is really unhinging itself from the rest of me.

to be honest, i don’t know why unhinged should commonly be used interchangeably with crazy. it looks too hinged to be unhinged.

so i propose an alternative: untethered. visually im seeing a kind of cord cut loose…cut free. although this word seems to be more widely used in other contexts, i think they should instead use unhinged in those situations.

“hey are you still stuck with that job?” “yes i am very hinged to it”
“are you together with that person?” “no we are unhinged from one another.”

im such a sucker for semantics.

i guess people normally describe someone as crazy when the subject seems to have no limits in the way that they act/think — their life philosophy is untethered to social conventions.

what im trying to say is, being crazy may actually be a way of being free.

wednesday. the last day of summer this winter

because the temperature will take a dip again starting tomorrow, not a huge dip though thankfully. i think i fixed my sleep. have been having very severe and groundless insomnia in the past two weeks. im ready to be human again. i ought to be studying. i OUGHT to.

READ

that tiny icon beside every website you see? it could be used to track your movements online. crazy to think that i could use my awkward web logo to stalk. he he.

how to be angry. as someone who has been sabotaged by her own temper several times in life now, i find this insightful and perhaps helpful even.

i admit that im slightly still obsessed with the idea of death penalty and Aileen Wuornos’ life and read a former inmate’s (not her) account of what life is like on death row in the USA.

SKIMMED

50 “great” “classic” novels under 200 pages. i will have to come back to this list on one of these days…

Valentine’s Day. winter is finally ending (i hope)

my first exam is in five days. im writing 95% of the time with my right hand now and the thumb is still a nuisance but not as big as it used to be.

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i didn’t know what bucatini pasta is, but now i wanna taste them too. and i want those from De Cecco.

all BREAKING NEWS we see are just results of feedback loops eh

it claims to be Valentine’s Day tips from astronauts. more like survival tips from people who have been in extreme conditions of isolation — for people in lockdowns like us

more tips on how to maintain a healthy mind in this pandemic. most are pretty straightforward things

Angelina — a film (?)/ documentary of an Italian granny. really like the cinematography

saturday night/sunday. it’s gonna be winter part 3 in Aachen…

so i haven’t got my laptop back and my right hand still feels weird and my thumb ain’t really working. the exam season is coming soon! oh and CNY!

READ

uhhh so Emily In Paris got a nomination. what the fuck. even their own writer is suprised. this is a dark moment for Hollywood

toilets of famous world leaders. really weird and random that i saw this article

someone who has more than 50 million euros in bitcoin refuses to reveal his password and thus no one has access to the money now. this is the cryptocurrency paradox

ive only recently heard of the name Scott Alexander while stumbling upon a website and my first post from him is his resuscitation. how interesting

don’t be harsh to people with early birthdays

my main question is: do people who fall into this category (whose birthday fall within the first two weeks of a year) fail their new year resolutions more often than others? because we also have to celebrate our birthdays? and Christmas and the New Year’s Eve and the New Year were just less than three weeks ago?? or do i celebrate more extravagantly than others? (i don’t think so, i kinda only had a dinner planned)

but as seen in my #100DaysOf experiment, i basically am failing to do anything productive on the day before, on The day, and now the day after. i essentially gave myself a 3 day break. and it’s not like im partying or anything —we are in a pandemic anyway, so i am mostly alone — but i really just feel like chillin’.

i tried to adhere to my plans, which mostly consists of studying but i couldn’t focus, almost at all. and the weird thing is, i wasn’t even thinking about anything else; my brain just didn’t want to focus. puh.

as such i feel like restarting my #100DaysOf challenge on Monday. (am i the only one who feels a strong need to start things on mondays???) or should i just continue it??? but with Day 3??? i’ll think about it when my brain agrees to thinking about it. hopefully tomorrow.

idk if this applies to everyone or just an idiosyncrasy of mine. i actually know people with birthdays from January 1 through 18, but alas, i just want to chill and not send surveys. i also should start replying to the wishes that i haven’t replied to….but i just want to chill mannnnn.


some (fun) facts about my birthday, which i think is the most interesting date ever (at least for me) (but i think i also speak for a North Korean maybe)
  • it’s January 8th.
  • so for people who share my birthday, we celebrate Christmas, New Year and our birthday on three consecutive weeks on the same day. (i always tell people that my birthday is exactly two weeks after Christmas and exactly a week after the New Year)
  • famous people who share our birthday: Elvis Presley, Stephen Hawking, David Bowie
  • but in recent years, i like to say Kim Jong-Un (leader of North Korea). i often said: “ha! the entire North Korea celebrates my birthday!” however, after really checking yesterday, i am horrified to learn that they don’t celebrate it at all. 😦 we can’t know for sure why but speculations include that it is too cold and too expensive to hold lavish celebrations…okay…
  • it is a day after the Orthodox Christmas!
  • and i just did a search to find out if there is anything else that is interesting about this day and LOL there is something called Typing Day …that is conceptualised and held in my homeland…what a coincidence.
  • other coincidences that happened this week: on Spotify’s Discover Weekly, which i started listening to because i don’t want my top songs 2021 to be something from 2020 trolololol, there is a song called Memphis by Kitten (which is eerily also playing in the background as i type this) which has the lyrics “im 24”, my current age. wow.
  • Netflix released a new French series and i had a Netflix Party for it haha. it’s a mix of Sherlock and Money Heist but French which also managed to be a comedy. 5 more episodes to go but im loving Netflix’s present to me.
  • it was finally winter wonderland here yesterday where i stay and yes, i’ll take it as the Universe’s birthday present to me cos the whiteness has almost vanished completely today

being angry

Twitter has been angry and i made some observations. this is based on my tweet


social media is great. you get to see how it’s like

when powerful people get angry.

when famous people get angry.

when smart people get angry.

when stupid people get angry.

this got me to think and explore a little deeper and then i don’t think i lie in any of these categories (at least i hope not) then came the next thought (tweet)

and normal people being angry. which is pretty much…normal. like the healthy amount. not disproportionate.

and then since i provided some explanation on normal people being angry normally. how are the other angrys (not a legit word) like?
in my opinion:

powerful people: probably pulling strings to make things happen. could be good or bad. like undercover cops creating chaos? bad. but there might be good things that we don’t see (yet).

famous people: create awareness. tbh i wouldn’t even think much about the current issue if not for so many people speaking up about it. and that’s also a problem cos these issues actually appeared TO BE NORMAL to me. that’s actually kinda fucked up. i mean, i grew up in a country where i don’t get fair treatment because of my skin colour. so like, it’s been a tacit acceptance my whole life. haha

smart people: really subtly. they make you think why this happened (and come to conclusions on our own; which could deviate from what another individual thinks, but does that really matter?) and suggest ways that we could do to improve things. in a way, they would help us grow and leave this situation as a little better person.

stupid people: makes you want to say “yes you can be angry and you have the right to do so but you don’t have to be THAT angry” or “you’re being angry at the wrong thing”.


these are of course just my own views and my thinking could probably be more refined. maybe i’ll explore this topic further in the future. maybe i’ll leave this here. who knows.